Kabir knew he should be studying. He knew it the way you know the sky
is blue — completely, without doubt, in every cell of his body.
The science exam was tomorrow. Chapter seven: the water cycle.
Evaporation, condensation, precipitation. He had the textbook open on
his desk. He had a sharpened pencil. He had a glass of water and a
plate of biscuits his mother had left. He had told himself, firmly and
sincerely, that he would study for two hours without stopping.
That promise lasted four minutes.
First it was the phone. Not his phone — his older brother's, left on
the table, screen facing up. A notification flashed. Just a number on
a red circle. Kabir did not even know what app it was from, but the
red circle pulled his eyes like a magnet pulls iron filings. He
reached for it. Just a glance. The glance became a scroll. The scroll
became a video of a man building a swimming pool in a jungle using
only a stick and his hands. The video was eleven minutes long. Kabir
watched every second.
He put the phone down. "Okay. Now. For real." He stared at the
textbook. Evaporation is the process by which water changes from a
liquid to a — the ceiling fan was making a sound. A clicking sound.
Click, click, click, every third rotation. How had he never noticed
that before? He stared at the fan, counting the clicks. Seventeen
clicks. Eighteen.
He looked back at the book. Condensation occurs when water vapor cools
and — the biscuits. They were cream biscuits, the orange-flavored
kind. He ate one. Then another. Then he was looking at the empty plate
wondering where the biscuits had gone, as though someone else had
eaten them.
Outside, a dog barked. A motorcycle passed, its engine sputtering
like a cough. The neighbor's TV was showing a cricket match — he could
hear the crowd roaring. India must be batting. Who was batting? He
should just check the score. Just the score.
An hour later, Kabir sat in the glow of the phone screen, the
textbook untouched, the water cycle still a mystery, his promise to
himself as broken as the empty biscuit plate. He was not a foolish
boy. He was not lazy. He genuinely wanted to study. But the senses —
his eyes, his ears, his tongue, his restless fingers — had seized his
mind and dragged it away like a gang of cheerful kidnappers.
Krishna says this happens even to the wise. Even to people who know
better, who have made plans, who have every intention of doing the
right thing. The senses are that strong. They do not knock politely
and wait for permission. They kick the door down.
The first step is not blaming yourself. The first step is admitting
that the door got kicked down.